This page contains some writings that I like to call Poetry, Strictly speaking, it may not be, some call it Prosé, You be the Judge.
I am reborn
A new awareness has found my being, for I have listened and have heardThe Shepherd eye's his flock and see's the lame
I have been seen, and through the eye's and hearts of others, the new way has become clearI will heal myself
All new to me is this consideration, for I have learned at last from life and others so afflicted, my desire now, is to find complete happiness, a total fulfillment and complete satisfaction for all those that my life may touch.
In these things I will find myself
My needs and desires have now become of secondary importance, one must sow, before one can reap, I know that God's will is for happiness for us all.
I have the love to give and share, and some day, God willing, I will be man enough to give with strength and conviction
My need to share is great. My need to give is greater.
Blue Eye's that are sometimes green, now sparkle in the glow from the candle, as she looks into the soft small flame
She becomes transparent as the warm gentle feeling of peace settles over her being
The room grows brighter as the glow from within her competes for space with the light from the candle
In a short while her glow becomes the attractive light, and the candles light pales into insignificance, for she could light a darkened room just by being there
With tenderness, new to me, a new beginning, I touch the the light ever so softly and the light becomes brighter
The glow from within her becomes a beacon, drawing me nearer, making in me a desire to caress the light even more, I touch again, differently, and feel the warmth from the light, her soul
I remove the fabric that would cover the glow, and gaze, as in a trance, at the wonderful fullness of the light, her soul, I am touched both physically and emotionally, as the light responds
It is but a short while before the two souls become one, and as the motion and movement increase, the light becomes blinding, destined for the ultimate sharing
Tears of happiness fill my eyes as my heart fills with the joy of giving, and the emotion of sharing, of touching the soul and body, of seeing the glow become a passion, and the faith that grows in her heart
I know of life beyond, and the glow that calls you through, it is the same glow, the glow of a love so pure, yet un-recognised, that it is almost impossible to imagine
My heart and soul harbour such a love, and it is my want to give, She has made the giving possible
We Each have a place in time and life, I feel that my time and place is now, I have been given a sign, one to be obeyed, a purpose for my existence has become clear to me
The love I have within, is to be given to a special person, not chosen by me, but by a divinity I am only just beginning to understand
Darker than blue, with a sparkle as clear and sharp as the lights from a perfect diamond, windows to the soul, that betray nothing but vague shadows in the first trace of light in the dawn of a new time, the sun is yet to shed it's light on this new time
Warm, like a gentle summer breeze, a feather like touch, unspoken desire is felt, understood, emotions kept in check, waiting for the light of the new sun, a certain closeness reveals inner self and a sharing of the first hint of this new dawn, soft like the breath of a lover on her cheek
The giver of life, from an imperfect time, the giver of love, mostly unquestioned, at last seeks for herself, unselfish in her wants, but the needs of her soul are great, dreams can now be fulfilled, the giving of self and the want to enjoy are now standing out and will be consummated
A new soul has been felt in the warmth of a sensual embrace, yearnings have been renewed in the half light of dawn, the realization of life yet to come, demands from her a new concentration as old and new emotions begin to experience the light of the new dawn
She will know complete peace and absolute contentment as the sun rises
The one I love, shines like silver
The one I love, is warm, like a summer breeze
The one I love, is bright, like sunshine
The one I love, is rare, like a perfect diamond
The one I love, is a Woman of distinction
The one I love, will have me forever
The one I love, can make my life complete
The one I love, is in my soul, I am content
The one I love, I love completely
The one I love will never know, I fear rejection
The one I love, loves another
The one I love...
A certain sadness, confusion from within, tangled emotions, not understanding the feelings, life is cruel, and felt hard, her passion is kept within, with a glimpse now and then in the release of the heat of a lifetime, an occasional opening, a temporary display of her passion, but dawn brings a change of mind
Confusion of thoughts, misinterpreted statements by those that do not care, the road to destruction is very visible and short, less than a lifetime
Not yet found is the want to give, her emotions are for no-one else, loneliness prevails, but is well hidden by a mask, so cleverly worn, and not easily discarded
She enjoys the giving of the carnal side, but emotions are kept well in check, a means to companionship and physical pleasure, so often not achieved, yet tolerated, and repeated, and dawn brings a change of heart
The wealth within is not yet discovered, not even understood, it remains dormant, Waiting for the wish to come true, but she keeps to herself while travelling the road of life, I know
Guidance is not forthcoming, left to fend in an unsympathetic circle, like a cog within a cog, travelling on, but perhaps spinning in the wrong direction, the sights and sounds are appealing, but she can't acquire a firm hold, and I am not yet able to give
At the end of the intimate time, I watch her sleep, no conscience, free, with the posture of a child, restless yet sound, not yet finished, not yet arrived, but happy in the moment
A certain lack of courage, perhaps self doubt, or could it be that I am just too cautious, at this time I feel she is still aware of my feelings for her, for the second time in my life time I have discovered loneliness, all consuming and powerful, it settles over my soul like a thick damp fog that clings, chilling every fibre of my existence
I have tried to be strong, I have tried to find reasons to keep my feelings to myself, but each time I find a reason to remain silent, my heart finds an answer, a reason to speak, I know that she seeks love, and I know that I have it to give, but something holds me back and I do not understand. The pain I feel is real, and the devastation total, This time I am beaten, I cannot rise above it, I cannot live with this pain, for I know it will be with me always
All I want for myself is the peace that will come to my soul when she knows how I really feel about her, but it seems that it is not to be, I would relinquish my place in space and time just to allow her to grow, life as I now know it is not for me, I have no other purpose than to love her
The rain is kind, it hides my tears, the seasons have changed, the warm summer breeze has become a cold wind that blows right through me, the joy that I once knew has been replaced by deep despair, The sun is covered by dark, sinister clouds, mocking my sadness
The dormant tendencies of winter have made my soul want to hibernate, close up, and sleep, I hope, forever, for I know that when I waken, all the pain and anguish will still be with me, I pray that God will show me mercy, for I have peace no longer
To know the Song of Bernadette, as she did all those years ago, I too, have seen heaven, I too, have heard the song, like Bernadette, I too must remain silent and unfulfilled. Cruelty and pain are my bed fellows, not the warmth and tenderness of the one I love
I long to take her in my arms, but I dare not dream, it would seem that love, like a river in flood, cannot be controlled, and it rushes on full tilt, bent on destruction. October Lady, The tears that flow will always dry, it's just that I would rather be with you now, are we destined to live apart?
You and I have felt the joy of touching the stars at midnight, felt and shared unblemished honesty between us, then watched as a new day was born at the top of the hill as we lay out on the blanket all night
Do you think of me, Can you feel me in your soul, whisper my name, and I will come to you
I love you completely and without question, with a faith untarnished and clear, with every part of my being, and will do so for as long as I can draw breath
Life breathes life, and time passes, days full of things we do, a day dream now and then, images of things from the past, ideals of things for the future that are full, I go on.
I go on towards days end, there is no greeting, there is no warmth, there is no companion, yet I am home and my soul is open, half a century has passed me, and I am alone, the wisdom too late, no-one to share the words, the deed, the thought, the feeling.
Night descends, the chores of night done, the glow from the candle just lit, enters my being and my heart is not for me, my thoughts and feelings are for another, one who does not know, the circumstance allows no display, and I am unable to reach.
I am content as I must be, my heart is filled with love for another, one who in the fullness of time will know of this purity and all it's greatness, the power of real love, be it in this life or the next, my faith in the power of the soul will cause them to once again be as one, and there will be fulfillment for both of us
A feeling, then reading the eyes, the truth not yet recognized will be found, a faith in me shattered, expected yet sad, has created realism, unintended hurt rises from the inadequate and fragile well intentioned attempts at creating new life and love.
One apparent act of seemingly thoughtless insensitivity can be the key to the door of the dungeons of hell, like the iron gate on a medieval fortress slamming shut before you get to safety, and knowing the frustration of honesty not understood, has betrayed the sensations deep in my soul.
Never an illusion, always honest, yet misunderstood, time for me would have been the key, the knowledge of the right path, but now I think that time will forsake me in order to maintain the way it is, for she is unsure of her own soul.
Credibility gone, smashed like a big china bowl dropped to a slate floor, damage done, not to be undone, the pieces scattered to the for corners of the world, some gone forever.
Prior thoughts and sensations can now be offered only in a feeble attempt to recreate the fine mist like web, the fragile fabric of existence, so easily damaged and impossible to repair, maybe we can live in a less than perfect world but would there be more.
Once again dawn has changed her mind, and I cannot pretend that I know not of her feelings, I will be humble and ask again, sorry seems so tiny and weak, my love for her remains, ever true, ever stronger, but alas, I think in vain.
The need in her has been felt, and seen by another, tangled emotions, a choice between wrong and right, certain unsureness, physical need rules the time and place.
Butterflies in the pit of her being, panic and anxiety tower over her, she wants but the courage has fled, left alone to fend in a new situation, one step at a time, but the rush is on, a heart beat, much too fast, a racing mind that creates new doubt.
Desperate is the need for tenderness, a door to a new world, perhaps a new being, for real understanding and genuine love, The eyes of another tell the story, not yet the faith to feel, a pain behind her eyes for the want of faith is there.
She will know me and that which I have to give, she wants to believe but prior thoughts and feelings come between her and her heart, trust is not easily reborn, but will prevail.
Her heart is not yet open, her soul not complete, the tears of frustration and loneliness, well hidden and not shared, builds anger, for she is still unsure, she is alone in a crowded place
Not seen, is that her fears are unfounded, for I will not wound or hurt, I will rekindle trust in her, she will know the truth that is in her heart, honesty and openness will triumph in the redemption of her being, trust is the key to the door of happiness.
Speak softly of your love, hold nothing in your heart.
Be us as hand in glove, and keep our love as it was at the start.
Be not unkind to me, seek not to fault my ways, for I will always be living to love you, all of my days.
And when the world has worn you down, and day weighs heavy on your soul, I will not wish to make a sound, but will let you hide until you're strong enough to climb up to your goal.
And when the sun grows cold, and all the colours die, you will be with me still, spreading your warmth through the folds of my soul.
When snow is heavy on the world, and cold is in the land, you will be softly curled inside my love, held safe in my mind.
And when the time for love has gone, this world will have all but passed away, this time for us will not be long, so remember how it feels to walk through the joy and the pain.
Remember the Sun and the Rain.
Weeping willow boughs caress the ground with a touch so gentle,as the fingers of one on another, ever so tender.
Finger tips on milk white skin touch a softness so refined as to be alabaster, shaded with a rose petal tint, find flesh receptive and warm, a tease, a tingle, a warm tender glow is the response.
Remedy of days woes, and anxiety released, all cares and worries ease, the tender touch on her smooth white skin finds a pleasure zone, the feeling light, the senses rise.
Enjoyment, given freely and absorbed greatfully, creates the desire to respond, the tender touch is returned with love and care, as it was given.
One intimate touch from her and a thousand lonely nights are placed into history, gone forever.
Silent contact, gentle persuasion, both now giving and receiving.
The ultimate connection.
The tree of life, pruned, all that is less than wanted, removed.
New growth, the tender buds of love begin to form, tended with care and honesty.
The love of the new scent, new life is well appreciated and willingly absorbed.
The shape, the colour, brings new joy, and builds a new value of life and love.
Like the new rose, she came, brightly, into my life, and brought much joy and peace.
Much admired, and much desired this bloom was taken from the tree, sealing it's fate.
Perhaps a new bud will replace what is now lost, though I think not quite the same.
From life, sometimes the hard way, comes the faith, lessons learned, new experiences taken on in the name of love
Answers from another realm, vague, shrouded in mist, try to guide us through, the truth of ones soul is silent, with good reason, love
Yet it be slow, life and love go on, perhaps still toward uncertainty, still with a silent need, now important only to ones self, still with love
Eternity beckons through the void left by failure, yet still with no direction, another lesson yet to be learned, love